


Piece By Piece

by dylanobriehn



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurts So Good, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago One Shot, One Shot, Pain - Captain Holt's Voice, Peraltiago, Peraltiago One Shot, also angst, angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dylanobriehn/pseuds/dylanobriehn
Summary: trigger warnings; mentions of cancer - don't read if matters around this subject upset you





	Piece By Piece

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings; mentions of cancer - don't read if matters around this subject upset you

She looked so beautiful that day. Her dark brown hair cascaded in soft waves over her face. She had grown so weak and he knew it. She laid asleep on their bed when he entered the room. He brushed his fingers through her hair, gently prompting her to wake up. Neither of them mentioned the fact that with each brush, each day, pieces of her hair would fall; a metaphor for his heart dropping each day, watching her grow so weak and not being able to do anything about it. It’s ironic: he felt like had so much power when he was out in the field, gun in hand, in the act of arresting a criminal, but not the right power to save the one he loved.

She slowly opened her dark chestnut eyes, the spark that was once there was lost, replaced with tire and drain.

“Hey, Ames,” He said, the crack in his voice barely audible, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She replied, sincerely. They didn’t talk about how it took all her effort to even talk at that stage. They didn’t talk about how he increasingly expressed his love for her every day. They didn’t talk about how her death was inevitable. They didn’t talk about how she no longer had an appetite. They didn’t talk about how her hair was falling out. But, they talked.

They stared into one another’s eyes. He didn’t look at her in a way that he felt sorry for her. She didn’t need that, and she didn’t want that. He looked at her with pure admiration and the hint sadness that had become a constant in him. “Take me for a drive.” She whispered.

“Yeah?” He questioned softly.

“Yeah.”

With that, he picked her up bridal style so carefully, so tenderly, and made his way down to their car where he then placed her down in the passenger seat, brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and left a lingering, delicate kiss to her forehead. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before he then made his way round to the driver’s seat.

The drive was silent. It was a comfortable silence though.

Usually, she would prefer not to go out in the state she was in. Once again though, he didn’t mention anything of it. But today wasn’t a normal day. He had a bad feeling about today.

“So, where do you want to go?” He asked, glancing at her momentarily with a soft, loving expression.

“Anywhere… under the stars.” She decided. She wasn’t looking at him, instead, at the road, almost in awe as she took in her surroundings, making the most of the dark outdoors.

The car parked somewhere off the road to a place Amy recognised. A smile played at her lips. He stepped out of their car, only to walk round to the other side and slide his arms under her back and knees, gingerly propping her up in his arms to make sure that he wasn’t hurting her in any way. She looked deep into his eyes, biting her bottom lip.

“You brought me here. How did you know?” She asked, almost as a whisper, looking down with her arms wrapped around his neck. He could have sworn that every time he picked her up she grew lighter. Her beauty, however, never faltered.

“Of course, I brought you here,” he left a kiss at her temple again, “it’s our rooftop.”

“Make sure not to lock us up there again.” Amy lifted her gaze to him, a smile plastered on her face. Jake even let out a soft chuckle. He loved her sense of humour. He loved how she makes him laugh. He loved how smart she was. He loved how beautiful she was. He loved her face and he loved her butt. He loved how much she pretended to love Die Hard. She was the best person he knew – the best detective he knew. He loved her. He _loves_ her.

He climbed up the stairs of the building all the way to the rooftop, Amy securely in his arms. After they had claimed the rooftop as theirs some time into their relationship, Jake found an old sofa and with the help of Rosa and Terry, them doing most of the work, placed it at the top in their spot. The same spot where they sat on their first ‘date’ ever. Or as Jake would say, ‘on the night she flirted with him for twenty seconds and he became obsessed with her forever’.

He sat down at the end of the old, but homey sofa, placing the beautiful Latina next to him so that she lay across the sofa, her top half tightly in his arms like her life depended on it and her bottom half outstretched across the length of it. He wasn’t planning to let her go yet, not physically or mentally. She snuggled into his chest comfortably; he was her home and her comfort. They just sat in one another’s embrace and stared up at the stars, as she wished.

“I love this place so much. Thank you, for bringing me here, Jake. You always know what I’m thinking.”

“Yeah, it’s because we’re telepathic,” Jake joked. Amy smiled at that, her smile lingering for a while as she looked up at the stars before it slowly dropped.

“Remember when I shot you in the leg.” Amy perked up, beaming so widely at him, playing with one of the buttons on his shirt.

“How could I forget. I wasn’t allowed back to work for so long. Told ya we’re telepathic, and you,” he paused to boop her nose, “just proved me right.” His cheesy smile reflected hers as they looked at one another. She scrunched up her nose at the boop, only smiling wider. And that was all that Jake could hope for – Amy’s happiness.

There was a pause, for a short while, before Amy spoke up gently, with a humorous tone, “It’s almost poetic, you know,”

“What is?” Jake asked, looking deep into her glistening eyes.

“This is the place where it all started,” she gestured between them, “and now it’s all going to end here.” She looked away, unable to face him at those words, unable to see his reaction to what she knew, and he knew, was inevitable.

“Ames, don’t- don’t say that. I-” Jake was completely speechless. In all honesty, he knew she was right. He would never admit it though. He took a deep breath, composing himself, remembering to stay strong for her, “Tonight we’re going to watch Die Hard 2, remember? Your favourite one.”

Amy chuckled lightly, “I can’t wait.” Then silence again.

He had watched her grow increasingly sick and had accepted it, despite the pain it caused him. The pain it caused him, however, was nothing in comparison to her pain, so he would bear it and stayed strong for her. It was all he could do.

But the end? That was something he was completely and utterly unprepared for. Was it possible to have been prepared? She didn’t deserve this, none of it.

“Aren’t they beautiful.” Amy said, softly, as she stared up at the stars, the only light that seemed to fill the darkness that blanketed the sky.

“Yeah, so, so beautiful.” He replied absentmindedly, as he stared at her with such adoration.

She averted her gaze back to him when she realised he wasn’t looking at the stars and smiled at him so softly and so cutely - as Jake would say.

Her smile momentarily faltered, “Please don’t cry,” it was this that made him realise the tears that had begun to journey down over his cheeks. “I can’t-” She couldn’t finish. Instead, buried her head into his chest.

“I’m just crying at how beautiful you are.” He let out a somewhat sad chuckle.

“I love you, Jacob Peralta-Santiago.” She said again, her voice, despite its weakness, still clearly laden with adoration.

“I love you too, Amy Peralta-Santiago,” He must have said for the seventh time that day. She nodded and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Then with a sad smile forming at her lips, closed her eyes, resting her head to his chest as she listened to his steady heartbeat, him holding her close and making the most of every millisecond they had left.

And for a moment, they sat there in each other’s company, and it was enough.

"So much," he added, almost a whisper, “I love you so much, more than you can imag-” At that, he felt the grip around his neck start to weaken and eventually drop, her head lulling to the side limply.

“Ames,” Jake slowly sat up, not to harm her frail body, “Ames, you can’t leave me, not yet, please,” his pleading grew quieter and quieter as he started to realise that that was it – he wouldn’t ever have another conversation with her; _the love of his life_. “Please, Ames, wake up. There’s still so much for us to do. You can’t leave me,” His voice was weak, as he choked down his cries, “I love you.”

With that, he gently shook her. His constant pleading was overcome by his sobbing, that first came with singular, slow tears, before he had begun shaking, tears flooding his sight. And that was when he’d given up, her limp body in his arms.

That was it. He’d stayed strong for her for as long as he could, bottling up his pain, in favour of tending to hers. She always came first for him, no matter what. But then, no one was there to see him in that state; no one to hold him; no one to love him, as she did.

“Ames, I-”

He connected his head to hers and broke down. Each tear that fell, with a gentle patter where it hit, was a piece of his heart falling. Piece by piece. It was all he could do for perhaps, seconds, minutes, hours, days?

There was plans for kids, plans to go to Waco, Texas for their ‘honeymoon’, so many plans.

So much left unsaid. So much more to be done.

**Author's Note:**

> i cried so much writing this. i'm so sorry. i'd love to know what you thought. you can find me on twitter @emiliacIarked.
> 
> proofread by @jennXVIII on twitter. i recommend y’all follow her.


End file.
